


You X Are My X Savior

by otakufreecss



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Killugon - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:06:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4142283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otakufreecss/pseuds/otakufreecss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short, fluffy, mildy-angsty Killugon oneshot that I've been working on for a while.<br/>Not going to give you a description...you'll just have to read it.</p><p>Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter X Hunter or any of it's characters, only this story idea.</p><p>SPOILER WARNING: This story takes place at the end of Season 2. While I did my best not to include major spoilers, it will be easier to understand if you have seen the show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You X Are My X Savior

“Gon! Gon, where are you?” Killua ran through the woods, calling to his friend. He cursed as he tripped over a root. He wasn’t paying attention to the world around him, he was too focused on finding his missing friend.  
Gon had dashed off into the woods an hour ago during a game of hide and seek with Killua. However, he hadn’t been seen since, despite Killua having already called off the game.  
“GON!” Killua shouted in to the forest. “Damn it! Where could he be? It’s not like him to just disappear like that.” Even during a game of hide and seek, Killua added to himself. He must really dislike being on his own. “Could he have gone home?” he asked out loud to no one in particular. Killua pondered this for a moment, tucking his hands behind his head. He let out a short laugh. “No way. Perhaps he fell asleep somewhere and lost track of time—“. Killua snapped his attention to the trees above him, readying himself in a defensive stance. Something—someone—was following him.  
Two seconds later, Gon jumped from a tree, screaming “AHHHHHH!” and fell directly onto Killua. Or, he would have, if Killua hadn’t moved, letting Gon fall on his rump on the hard dirt.  
“Ow!” moaned Gon, standing up and rubbing his backside. “Killua, you could have caught me.”  
Killua crossed his arms and glared at the boy in front of him before bursting. “Gon, where have you been for the past hour?! You just disappeared! I have been up and down this forest searching for you, you know!”  
Gon laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, Killua, I just—“. Gon paused, looking down at the ground. “I found this,” he said softly, and held out a small hat that was covered in dirt and bleached in odd places from the sun, as if it had been left in partial sunshine for a long time. Killua took it, examining it. Inside the hat, a name was stitched into the back.  
GING FREECSS  
Killua gasped. “Gon, this is—!”  
Gon nodded, knowing what Killua was going to say. “It’s my dad’s. And there’s more. I found a cave,” Gon pointed deeper into the forest, “over there. It was well hidden, but without the use of Nen, so he hid it before becoming a Hunter.” Gon smiled up at Killua.  
“Want to do some exploring?” Killua laughed, slapping the hat onto Gon’s head.  
“Yeah!” Gon exclaimed, and Killua grinned at Gon’s eagerness. “Let’s go.”  
Together, Gon and Killua dashed deeper into the forest.

— ¤ —

The two boys stood at the entrance to the cave. They’d spent the last half hour retracing Gon’s footsteps and clearing the brush and stone from the opening. Gon wiped his hand across his forehead, leaving a streak of dirt. He grinned at Killua. “Ready?” he asked, already knowing the answer. Killua nodded, and both of them stepped into darkness.  
They stood for a moment at the entrance, letting their eyes adjust.  
“We should’ve brought a flashlight,” Killua muttered, but he didn’t seem to mind the dark gloom that surrounded them. It was as if they had been swallowed by the cave, the darkness was so complete. Gon voiced his agreement and stepped forward, moving to explore what he could of the cave. Killua held out an arm to stop him.  
“Killua?” Gon turned to his friend, who was holding a finger to his lips in a ‘don’t speak’ motion. Gon, trusting his friend’s instincts, stepped back to Killua’s side. “Killua, what’s wrong?” he whispered softly.  
“I sense something,” Killua whispered back. “It’s coming from over there.” Killua pointed to the very back of the cave, where the darkness seemed almost blacker than where they were currently standing.  
“I didn’t notice anything,” Gon replied, slightly louder.  
“Just be quiet and focus, then.”  
Gon complied, closing his eyes. A second later his eyes snapped back open. “A faint aura coming from where you said.” Killua nodded. “It seems to be…waiting.” Killua nodded again.  
“It’s most likely a trap of some sort. Should we still…” Killua trailed off when he noticed that Gon wasn’t paying attention. Instead, he was staring intently at where the aura was coming from. “Gon, we need to be careful.”  
Gon didn’t hear a word. He was already moving toward the back of the cave.  
“Gon!” Killua hissed, grabbing at his friend, catching his arm. “Wait, you idiot!” Killua tried pulling Gon back, but it was useless. It was as if he was in some sort of trance.  
That’s when Killua remembered what Gon had said earlier.  
“It was well hidden, but without the use of Nen, so he hid it before becoming a Hunter.”  
They hadn’t been considering a Nen trap, which meant that Gon was probably…  
Killua activated Gyo, focusing his aura into his eyes. Sure enough, a string of Nen connected Gon to the dark corner of the cave. Killua cursed. Gon had most likely been put into a trance-like state, and was being pulled, slowly, towards to back of the cave. Whatever waited for him there…it can’t be good. Meaning that there was only on way out: Killua had to destroy whatever was holding onto Gon.  
Killua tried one last time to get his friend’s attention. “GON!” Killua yelled as loud as he could, but he didn’t even see Gon twitch. “Damn it!” Killua cried, running forward. He leapt in front of Gon, using his Gyo to find where the Nen string was coming from.  
In the back of the cave, a small orange stone sad on a pedestal, emitting an aura so strong, it made Killua’s hair stand on end. How had they not noticed it before? Had the stone been using Zetsu to nullify its detectable aura? Was it even possible for an inanimate object to do that?  
Killua focused his attention on the stone. It had obviously only been created to trap one person, and not two. And considering the fact that this used to be Ging’s cave… “It was meant for Ging,” whispered Killua, wide-eyed. Ging, from what Killua knew and assumed, would never harm his son without reason. Ging was also a Pro Hunter, and a 3-star Hunter, which most likely made him a lot of enemies. And if this Nen was created to trap Ging, what chance did Gon have of escaping it unscathed?  
“None,” Killua realized.  
Then Killua changed his stance, holding his arm out. Enveloping himself with aura, Killua erupted it out using Ren. Finally, focusing all his power and aura into his right hand, Killua rushed at the stone and smashed it, determined to save his best friend.  
The sound of Killua’s arm and forearm shattering echoed through the cave. A moment later, the stone exploded.  
Killua had just enough energy left in him to throw himself in front of Gon, shielding him. The entire cave collapsed on top of the two boys.

— ¤ —

“Killua…Killua!” Gon knelt over the bloodied and broken Killua, trying to wake him up. Killua was splayed out among the rubble, his clothes smoldering and almost all of his joints at odd angles. His right hand was black, singed, and smashed, having taken most of the impact, and the rest of his arm wasn’t much better. Tears slid from Gon’s dirt covered face onto Killua’s bloodstained shirt.  
Slowly, Killua opened his eyes, squinting as they filled with tears. Gon had never seen him cry before. He picked Killua up, cradling him gingerly in his arms. “This might hurt for a bit, Killua,” Gon said to his friend as he started to run, the semi-conscious Killua bouncing lightly up and down in his arms.  
Killua gave what was most likely meant to be a smile, but it was swollen and came out as a grimace. “Not more than it already does…” Killua replied faintly, slipping back into unconsciousness.  
Gon finally reached his house after what felt like ages, but was only a span of 15-20 minutes.  
“Mito-san!” Gon screamed, running up to the house. Mito threw the door open, registered the state the boys were in, and ushered Gon inside.  
“Mito-san…” Gon cried, holding Killua closer. “Killua is…he got…” Gon choked on his words, then gasped for breath as he started crying harder.  
“Put him on the table,” Mito ordered, sweeping the decorations onto the floor with her arm. Gon did as he was told, laying Killua down on the table as gently as possible. "Gon, grab the first-aid kit.” Gon didn’t budge from Killua’s side. He picked up his friend’s left hand, and squeezed it gently.  
“Killua, I’m sorry…I’m so, so sorry…” Gon held back a sob. Mito snapped her fingers under Gon’s nose to get his attention.  
“Gon, first-aid kit, now! I also need a bowl of warm water and a clean towel.” Gon set Killua’s hand back onto the table and nodded mutely to his aunt, running off to get what she needed.  
The next few hours were spent similarly: Mito patching up Killua, and Gon assisting, taking breaks to stand by Killua and whisper his apologies. Mito nearly had to send Gon away on multiple occasions when he refused to leave Killua’s side. She could tell that seeing his best friend in this condition was breaking Gon’s heart.  
Finally, Mito wrapped up the last of Killua’s bandages. “Gon, let’s get him up to bed.” Gon put an arm under Killua’s neck and another under his knees, and hoisted up his friend. Slowly, Gon made his way upstairs to his bedroom.  
Laying Killua on the bed, Gon started to make himself comfortable on the floor.  
“Gon.” A faint whisper came from the bed. Gon glanced up at Killua, who had one eye open, the other being too swollen to move.  
“Killua?” Gon stood, and made his way to stand next to his friend.  
“Gon,” Killua whispered again, “don’t…don’t leave me alone. Please don’t go.” Gon managed a teary-eyed smile at his best friend.  
“Don’t worry, Killua. I won’t.”  
Gon crawled into bed next to Killua, making sure not to disturb the sleeping boy. He’d stood next to Killua, holding his hand until he fell asleep. It hurt him to see his best friend like this, broken and unable to move. The strong and unbreakable Killua that Gon knew had been blown away in the explosion. Gon knew that at some point that Killua would come back to him. For now, he had to take care of his best friend.  
“I’m here for you, Killua,” Gon whispered, looking at the sleeping boy next to him. Wrapped up in gauze, bandages, and his arm in a sling, Killua still managed to look peaceful while he was sleeping. Gon closed his eyes, and fell asleep next to his best friend.  
— ¤ —

Killua’s road to recovery proved to be a slow and painful one. Gon and Mito reset quite a few of his bones, even having to go so far as re-breaking his right arm so it would set right. Throughout all of this, Killua never shed one tear. He hadn’t cried at all since the night of the explosion. Gon was the complete opposite. For the first couple weeks, Gon shed more tears than he ever had before. Killua tried to convince him that it wasn’t his fault, but Gon refused to listen.  
Finally, after a month of tears and recovery, Killua was on the mend. Days were spent in Gon’s room, playing video games together or reading books. Occasionally, Gon would put on a show for Killua using home-made sock puppets, determined to make his best friend feel better.  
— ¤ —

A month and a half after the cave explosion, Mito decided that Killua was well enough to go outside, as long as he had assistance.  
“Really, Mito-san? We can go outside?” Gon jumped up and down on his bed. They’d purchased a second, since Killua needed a bed and he refused to have Gon sleep on the floor.  
Mito laughed. “Yes, you may. On one condition: you won’t go farther than where I can see you.” Gon stopped jumping. He sat at the end of his bed, cocking his head to one side.  
“How come?”  
“Because she wants to make sure that we don’t come up with another brilliant way to get ourselves bedridden,” Killua smirked. “Well, I’m ready for some fresh air. Let’s go?” He looked over at Gon, who had spaced out and was deep in thought. “Gon, what is it?”  
“What does ‘bedridden’ mean?”  
Killua looked like he was going to strangle Gon. “HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT ‘BEDDRIDEN’ MEANS?!”  
Mito watched as the boys argued, yelling back and forth about Gon’s lack of knowledge. They argued often, it seemed, but afterwards they were the best of friends again.  
Sure enough, after another minute or so of Killua insulting Gon’s intellectual abilities, the boys calmed down.  
“We do want to go outside, Mito-san,” Gon said, getting his aunt’s attention. “I want to take Killua down to the field to show him what a real spring looks like!”  
Mito laughed at Gon’s endearing eagerness. “Alright, just be back for dinner. Killua’s in no fit state to go fishing just yet.” Mito gave Gon a stern look as he started grumbling about being able to catch enough food for two. Silently, he acquiesced.  
“Killua, are you ready?” Gon asked, already lacing his boots up and tucking his jacket under his arm. Killua grinned.  
“Yeah. Get me out of this damned bed!” He cast a shy glance at Mito. “I’m not saying it’s bad!” Gon and his aunt laughed at Killua’s momentary embarrassment.  
“Alright, alright,” Gon said finally, and hoisted Killua up.  
“Hey!” exclaimed Killua, and he slapped Gon’s arm.  
“What?” Gon cried back. “That hurt!”  
“You’re holding my butt, that’s what!” Killua shouted, and both boys turned a deep shade of red.  
Gon nearly dropped Killua trying to reposition his hand, and Killua slapped him again for being careless. Finally, Gon managed to hold Killua properly, and sheepishly carried his friend downstairs and out the door.  
— ¤ —

Setting Killua down softly on the grass, Gon laid his jacket down on the ground and helped Killua onto it.  
“Isn’t it pretty, Killua? Gon asked, laying down and tucking his hands behind his head. Killua closed his eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the clean air and the smell of wildflowers.  
“Yeah,” Killua replied, “I’ve never gotten to see flowers in bloom like this before.” Killua picked up a purple flower and twirled it between his fingers. He smiled to himself as he took in his surroundings. “Here,” he said, and put the flower in Gon’s hair, reaching over to tuck it behind his ear. Blushing, Killua looked away as Gon smiled at him, surprised. Killua stared off at the horizon, determined not to meet Gon’s gaze. “Thank you for taking care of me, Gon,” Killua said. “No one’s ever taken care of me before.” Suddenly, Killua felt an intensely sharp pain in his ribs. He gasped, and glared down at Gon, who was hugging him tightly.  
“You’re welcome, Killua!” Gon cried. He looked up at Killua, grinning. Killua grit his teeth, and managed to say, “Get. Off. Idiot. My ribs…” without punching Gon. Gon quickly released his friend, an appalled look on his face.  
“I’m sorry!” Gon shouted, a bit too loudly. Killua chuckled and shook his head.  
“Don’t be, it’s fine. I’ll be better soon and then—“. Killua stopped. He was about to say and then you can hug me whenever without it hurting. Why would he even think that? It was Gon, and Gon was his best friend but…  
“And then what?” Gon gave Killua a confused glance.  
“And then I can kick your butt!” Killua shouted, grabbing at Gon with his good hand and landing a blow on Gon’s head. It wasn’t very hard, but it was enough to make Gon squeal ‘ow!’  
Killua laughed and Gon joined in, holding his head.  
Just a playful exchange between friends.  
Right?

— ¤ —

Over the next few days, Gon and Killua spent most of their time outside in the field. Sometimes Gon would bring a picnic or a board game. He even made Killua a kite, using fishing line and a large piece of paper.  
These days were the highlight of Killua’s time on Whale Island. Everything was perfect: the warm sun, the sweet smelling flowers, and the soft grass. It was peaceful, a concept Killua barely understood up until now. Of course, the best part was spending every day, every moment of this beautiful spring, with Gon. With his best friend.  
Best friend.  
It was a term that haunted Killua, lingered in the back of his mind, tangible, restricting. It even hurt, worse than his broken ribs, his shattered hand.  
Killua didn’t understand what was going on. He didn’t understand why he felt lost when he looked at Gon, or why his stomach did a flip whenever Gon smiled at him. Most of all, he didn’t understand why being near Gonwhether they were in the same room or holding handsmade him feel empty, like he was missing something. As if there was something that was obvious…and he just didn’t understand.  
After days of turning these different things over and over in his head, it clicked. One afternoon, when Gon was animatedly explaining how he’d once caught a bird with his bare handsjust to see if he could¬Killua felt like a switch had been flipped inside of him, and all the emotions tumbling around inside of him suddenly made sense. And then the truth, the reality of what this all meant, made Killua feel as if he’d just been kicked in the stomach repeatedly for weeks on end. He tuned Gon out as he rapidly tried to comprehend what he already knewand didn’t want to admit.  
Gon…he’s a friend. My best friend. I’ve never had a friend before, Killua reminded himself, I should be happy with this…with Gon, as friends…just friends.  
But he wasn’t happy.  
It wasn’t a friend that he wanted. To him, Gon was more than that.  
From then on, Killua caught himself gazing at Gon’s profile too often. He tried to keep himself in check, stopping himself from making the biggest, worst mistake of his life. He could never tell Gon how he felt, what he meant to him.  
I have to hide it, Killua decided.  
Forever.

— ¤ —

After a few more days spent in the sun, Gon started to notice Killua becoming more distant. No matter what Gon said or did, Killua rarely smiled. He barely even registered Gon’s presence. It was as if he’d hidden inside himself, only letting a fraction of his true self show. It hurt Gon, but he would never tell that to Killua.  
There must be something on his mind, Gon figured. I don’t know what it could be. Should I ask?  
Gon went back and forth, wrestling between his curiosity and his understanding Killua’s need for privacy. Finally, on the first rainy day of the season, Gon’s curiosity won over. They were sitting on their respective beds playing a video game on Gon’s new TV. After Killua’s inevitable win, which Killua registered with a ghost of a smile, Gon decided to ask.  
“Killua,” Gon started, setting his remote down, “why don’t you smile anymore?” Killua’s expression changed so fast, it was as if someone had hit him, turning Killua’s vacant smile into stony glare. He turned away from Gon, staring at the blank wall.  
“I smile…” Killua argued half-heartedly. Gon shook his head, then, realizing Killua couldn’t see him, he spoke up.  
“No, Killua, you don’t!” Gon practically shouted at his friend. “You were fine, you were happy! You told me so yourself! Why don’t you smile, why don’t you laugh? I thought you liked it here, I thought you—“Gon’s voice broke as he started to sob. “I thought you like spending time with me.” Killua whipped his head back around to face Gon. His eyes glowed with a dark malice, a look Gon had only seen Killua give his enemies.  
“Maybe I don’t like it here!” Killua spat back. “Maybe I’m tired of being stuck with you, day after day, for weeks! Maybe I’m over being an invalid, forced to accept help from a stupid fool like you!” Killua’s expression darkened, his voice growing cold, dripping with hatred. “Or maybe, Gon,” Killua said, “maybe I’m just sick of you.” Killua’s words hurt more than anything ever had before. Killua had never lost control before, never yelled like this, not at Gon.  
Gon’s tears hadn’t stopped, but now they were silent. There were no sob, no arguments. Gon took it, took in every hateful word, and let Killua’s angry words sink in. Finally, after a long silence, Gon spoke.  
“Killua, do you hate me?”  
Killua managed to mask his pain, but just barely. No, Killua thought, no Gon! I don’t, I wouldn’t, I could never hate you. But he couldn’t voice his true feelings. He would end up getting hurt, again, and he couldn’t risk that. Worse, he could end up hurting Gon, and that was even worse. The only way was to make Gon forget him, hate him. He knew it would end up hurting Gon more than it already had, but even so, it was the better alternative, better than having Gon know the truth. Killua decided that pushing Gon away was better for both of them.  
No, a voice in Killua’s head argued, it’s only easier for you. You don’t want to risk getting hurt again.  
Shut up! Killua thought back at himself. I have to do this!  
Killua glared up at Gon, forcing as much hatred into his voice as possible.  
“Yes,” Killua responded. “Yes, I do.” Gon’s eyes filled with the last of his tears. They slipped silently down his face, into his lap.  
“Killua…” It came out as barely a whisper, but Killua still heard it. He saw the damage he’d done, the pain he’d inflicted on the only person who’d ever cared for him…the only person he’d ever cared for.  
Illumi was right. I am only good for one thing…I don’t deserve a friend.  
Slowly, Killua stood up, bracing himself for the pain. He made his way to the door, and carefully turned the knob.  
Gon looked on as Killua left, leaving behind a broken boy with a shattered heart.

— ¤ —

No…Gon couldn’t let Killua go. He wouldn’t. I have to show him. I have to tell him!  
By the time Gon had managed to pull himself together, Killua had already made it to the docks. Gon ran as fast as his legs could carry him, jumping over tree roots and hurdling down hills. He skidded to a halt as he caught sight of a familiar tuft of white hair, ducking behind a barrel. He dashed over to his friend, shouting, “Killua!”  
Killua heard the familiar shout and cursed inwardly. He’d hidden hastily due to his injures, so he knew this might happen, but he’d been hoping for a clean getaway.  
He was about to move to hide somewhere better, when Gon came barely toward him. “No!” Gon shouted as Killua tried to run. “Killua, stop!” Gon grabbed Killua’s good arm, his grip unbreakable. His expression was hard, serious, and determined. “Killua, you have to listen to what I have to say. Don’t talk until I’m done.”  
“Get off—,” Killua started to argue, and Gon tightened his grip.  
“Stop, and listen to me.” Gon took a deep breath, and began. “Killua, I know you don’t hate me. I don’t know why you’re pushing me away, but I can’t let you leave. You’re trying to get me to hate you, but that’s impossible. I could never hate you because you are the strongest, smartest, most beautiful person I’ve ever met, and…” Gon took one more deep breath, his hands shaking out of nervousness, the butterflies in his stomach multiplying by the second. “And I love you!” Killua was stunned. Before he could ask, are you sure? Gon’s lips were on his.  
The kiss didn’t last very long, since neither of them had any experience, and Killua hadn’t taken a breath beforehand. As they pulled away Killua’s face lit up, despite his internal protests.  
“Gon…” Killua was at a loss for words, his feelings for Gon flooding through him. But he knew he had to say it, to finally get it out… “I love you. Too. I love you too!” Killua stumbled over his words and Gon grinned at him like the infatuated fool that he was. They kissed again, longer and easier now that they knew what to do. They stayed at the docks for a while longer, getting used to the feeling of being in love.

EPILOGUE

Two months later, Gon and Killua were making their way to their favorite campsite. Gon strained; or pretended to; under the weight of four picnic baskets and a pile of blankets. Killua carried the tent and both sleeping bags effortlessly, scampering up the incline ahead of his boyfriend.  
He set the bundle down when he reached the top, spreading his arms wide and looking at the horizon. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath to take in the scent of the fresh ocean breeze. Killua heard the thump of objects being out down behind him, and then strong arms were wrapping around his waist.  
Gon nuzzled his face into Killua’s neck, taking in his boyfriend’s scent. Killua let his arms fall, covering Gon’s hands with his own. They stood like this for a few minutes, taking in the view and enjoying each other’s company. At last, Killua turned around and kissed Gon, then turned away and started putting up the tent.  
“Killua!” Gon whined, walking over to help the other boy. “We’re supposed to be celebrating.” Killua smacked Gon lightly with a tent pole before turning his attention back to his job.  
“And how are we supposed to celebrate if we don’t even have a tent up? We’ll be ready for bed and you’ll argue again that putting up a tent isn’t celebrating, and I’ll be made to lie on the floor the day after your aunt declared me all better. Do you want me to be uncomfortable?”  
Gon hung his head in mock defeat, making Killua laugh. Gon looked up with a worried expression. “Wait, were you serious?”  
Killua tapped him again, a bit harshly, with the tent pole. “Of course not, stupid. I have no problem with sleeping under the stars.”  
“With me.” Gon gave Killua a beaming grin, making Killua chuckle.  
“Yeah, Gon, with you.”


End file.
